Too Nice

Friends have been saying two things repeatedly to me in the past week:

1. Statement -- You are too nice.
2. Question -- What makes you happy?

Why is a bad thing that I am a nice person? And is it unreasonable that being nice makes me happy, after years of being not nice and unhappy?

John Also Known as Jay

The latest came from my friend Sharlene. I had told her about a friend, "John Also Known As Jay" (yes, I call him that ... like A Pimp Named Slickback, I say the whole thing), who had stopped by my house one evening at 11pm, knocked and I didn't answer. When he came back 20 minutes later, I told him he woke me up. To which he responded, "I figured you were sleep when you didn't answer the door earlier." (Really, in my world, usually that would be a reason to not come back). He knows that I don't like 'strange' men in my house after midnight, so at 12:30am (still sleepy mind you), I told him I was tired and going to bed. To which he asked if he could stay over. Being slow, I paused, looked around and wandered to my closet, grabbed a sheet a pillow, and said goodnight. To this day, I can only guess why he came by. Sharlene tells me I am far too nice, and she would have just closed the door on someone who woke her up. I guess.

This morning Mr. Perry, a friend of JAKAJ, was at my apartment building. He's in his 40s, attended Georgetown, and is now a managing partner at some law firm in northwest DC. He's of the opinion that he is extremely attractive, a player, and a catch. I'd disagree, but who's asking me. Anyway, Mr. Perry decided that his gift to mankind this morning was to buy me some tea and walk me to work, while name dropping his rich and powerful friends, at USAID, at IDF, at WorldBank, etc. etc. Apparently Mr. Perry had been up all night toasting with friends and was still a bit tipsy. Though I would have preferred to have spent my time listening to music on the train, Mr. Perry did share a few interesting rumors. For instance, folks think I am a lesbian because (1) I had a female friend come stay with me [that'd be you Kisha!], (2) I haven't had any interest in hooking up while in DC, and (3) I don't dress very feminine. Added to this, JAKAJ is of the belief I'm giving him mixed signals. Hmmp. Mr. Perry walked the 10 minutes, took 2 trains, and ended the walk in front of my building with him telling me that I was to go out to dinner with him tomorrow. Strange. I don't recall agreeing to that. I suggested he should keep to his original plans to go to New York, and not bet on seeing me. Everyone knows I'm a gambling woman, and that's not a good bet.

Besides these 2, my family, friends, and passing associates keep asking the question "what makes you happy?" To which, I think "loads of things, it just depends." So, with that in mind, I started doing web searches on my horoscope to see if there were any insights there. Highlight of the characteristics of a Sag:

• mutable
• hate being tied down
• enjoys traveling
• broad view
• fortune seems to shine on you
• You’d always rather aim high and take on the adventure of life than get to the end of the road regretting that you didn’t have a good go at making your dreams come true.

All true statements. Some of my happiest moments were sitting in the sunshine, having a glass of iced tea with a friend. I love to make a plan for grand adventures romping around the world, and one-way-or-another, I find a way to make many of them happen. That makes me happy too! I love to see my friends happy. And if I can add to that, all the better! Then again, a Sunday morning in front of Crepes-A-Go alone with a book can make me smile too. Life adventures give me the opportunity to try new things, and be mutable. So, that's great too. Therefore, the answer to what makes me happy is -- being allowed to just be me in all of my quirkiness.