quest for DC hang out buddy

My friend, Princess Jolene, 2 hockey seasons ago, made an attempt to find a Ducks Game Hockey buddy. To this end, she posted an ad on craiglist and chronicled the quest as a columnist for Inside Hockey. Her conclusion: no hockey buddy found. Chris, more recently, decided to reach out to the world and find a buddy in Los Angeles. He both posted on craigslist and answered ads for "strictly platonic." His results: last weekend he found a buddy to go to the movies with.

Thus, with known mixed successes, I decided to post an ad on craigslist for a strictly plantonic friend to explore DC with. The ad said: "I'm visiting DC for a few months, and am looking to have someone to hang out with. I enjoy going out to eat, going to museums, exploring new places, and playing games (e.g., cards, dominoes, board games).I'm a pretty laid back person. I'm not looking for a relationship or a hook-up." Here are some of the responses I received and my first impressions:

GREG: I am 37, 5' 10, 145 pounds, short brown hair, hazel eyes. Single, never married. I live and work in Rockville as a computer software analyst. I enjoy going to yard and moving sales on weekends to add to my growing collection of artwork. I keep up with all the latest trends from the cooking shows on Tv. and have developed some interesting cooking habits, mainly to eat healthy. My favorite hobby is fixing stuff. I am a very resourceful man, I can fix just about anything around the home. I take excellent care of myself. It might be easier to chat online using yahoo instant messenger... Ooo, someone who can cook. Nice. Hmm, but seems like a homebody and I don't want to go to someone's house.

KEITH: Just wanted to say that you have a beautiful smile, actually, an amazing smile. what a nice compliment. But what does that have to do with hanging out with someone?

JASON: Hello, I am interested to hang out with you when you are in DC. I am working in DC and living in Pentagon City. In case that matters for you, I am an Asian professional, 38. When will you coming to DC? I appreciate the statement "in case that matters for you" just because he was aware it may matter to someone.

LUCIUS: How is your evening going? Saw your ad and wanted to get together sometime. Do you have AIM or some other way for us to talk? I'm a 27 y.o. DC native. Where are you originally from? "get together sometime"... hmm, is it wrong that your name reminds me of Lucifer and that concerns me?

RAZ: hey there, stopped into ur post and couldnot stop from writing u..23 m nova and seeking for a close friend to handout and spend time with..let me know if u r ready? hope to hear from u soon..c ya "close friend" and "if u r ready"... hmm, I don't think that I will be answering this person.

KEVIN: Welcome. Hopefully you find what you are looking for. If not feel free to contact me. I'm willing to help you out a little. If I don't find what I'm looking for, then call him? What, cause I will be disparate? No thanks.

MARK: where are you from, and what brings you to the DC area? My name is mark, hope you enjoying your visit so far, should you want to be friends, feel free to email me when you can. Should I want to be friends? Based on what I read thus far, I think I need to know more before I can commit to being a friend. But, that's my goal ultimately.

ADAM: why are you coming to dc? do you play spades? Spades seems to be an important factor. Good thing I know how to play!

RAY: HELLO MY DEAR I'M RAY, 40, 6-0, 225LBS SINGLE BLACK GENT THAT LIVES ALONE IN TH EMD/DC AREA. NO GAMES EVER!! PLUS I'LL SENDYOU MY PICS ALSO. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME FOR DRINKS AT. BLKTY724@YAHOO.COM240 423 2758 This sounds like someone trying to hook up. I said I like playing games and gave examples of what I meant (e.g., cards). Yet, he's describing himself as though I might be interested in a date. Urg. No soup for you!

JEROME: Hello, I wanted to compliment you on your beauty, Tell me can you play spades? Ah, another compliment. Again, with the spades. I like card games... I should respond based on that. But, I'm not happy about the "beauty" compliment. Seems... uncomfortable.

DELEON: Hello there! I hope you are finding my City “D.C.” exciting so Far! So what haven’t you seen? I can send you a pick of me if you would like??? Why is the punctuation bothering me so much?

KRAZE: Hi, I'm shy type, but open up somewhat. I am ok with just chatting or being friends. I don't go out much as I'm new to Maryland, originally from Missouri. I lead a busy lifestyle but again I'm not the pressure type, I expect nothing.. If you're busy and you don't go out much, why did you repsond? I want to go out and explore. I'm happy you expect nothing.

METANOIA: Hello there. I read your ad. and I am interested in chatting with you. I too am looking for a platonic friend, for movie or dinner companionship. So, if you are still looking, then lets talk.

DAVID: Hello my name is DJ my age is 23 I'm very mature and attractive my height is 6'4 weight is 220 light brown skin I have long hair and I do love tattoos I have 13 of them and I'm african american mix with hayasian I'm currently single with no kids I'm in college taking up crinmal justice I do work and I do drive and I also live in the Dc area I do have pics to send if you are interested so reply if you like and we can go from there what's the deal without punctuation? 23, mature, in college... 13 tattoos... sounds like someone wanting to hook up.

JACOB: Hi,I am replying to your ad on Craigslist. I was just browsing and came across your ad and saw your pic. You are beautiful and I said to myself, I have to reply to her. I hope you are real, :)I live in Silver Spring, single, 34 years old and enjoy going to places, museums, having fun, relax or watch a good movie. I am good playing different kinds of sports, biking, tennis, ping pong or bowling, pool, walking around parks, anything.If you are real, I will definitely show my face and will tell more about me... Cheesy. And scary.

This whole experience is making me grateful for facebook. I'm able to take these dude's email addresses and paste them into facebook. It's amazing what you can learn that way. How many of them do you think are married? Who's the doctor? Who has 1,000+ friends? Who has 2 friends, both under 18? This is one day worth of responses -- I think it's time to bring the ad down.