Definition of a Flake

Tonight I was supposed to out with my cousin Alayr'c. I wasn't originally sure what we were supposed to be doing. I knew it was my role to get to the appropriate train station after work. That would be fine, 'cause I certainly don't want to drive anywhere. And ultimately, he would pick me up from the train & we'd go out from there. Cool deal. No issues there.

The thing is, I love my cousin. He's from Marksville, LA, the town where my mother is from. He's been in the Air Force for a number of years. He's smart, quick-witted, has a good sense of humor, and loves his relatives. According to my mother, he even owns a house somewhere in the area. All great, right?

The thing is, my cousin and I are very different. But then, I'm probably different from most of my family. I was raised in San Diego. And there's something about growing up in a beach city that makes a person -- well -- tacky. That is to say that I don't dress up. Even when I try, it generally results in a failed attempt. I remember once I met a guy and he asked me if I had anything to change into so we could go someplace nice. Suffice to say: it was Sunday and I was wearing an outfit that was as good as it gets. We didn't go to the "fancy" place. Most of my cousins, on the other hand, consistently look fabulous. They take time to do their hair, they care whether their skin is clear, they buy designer stuff, and are sure to own the fanciest gadget. They blend in easily with the fabulous people, whereas I on the other hand, meets loads of fabulous people and forget their names as soon as I walk away. My heart just can't get into being one of the pretty people.

The result is, I often feel more comfortable in a room full of strangers than people I know & love. I can mix and mingle, and will be happy to be forgotten. I can laugh and have a good time, and barely be noticed. Yet, the idea of hanging with family, the family whom I love so much, creates a great deal of anxiety in me. And I find myself looking forward to a quiet night getting ready to hang out with more strangers at a book club, than wanting to spend it with my relations.

And thus, you have the definition of a flake: Alaynè.