my brain -- the dual processor

My brain is like an inefficient computer dual processor. One processor is good at mathematics & tedious repetition, but needs the other processor to be occupied to function properly. If not occupied that second processor will throw out random thoughts, create to do lists, daydream about places to visit, and think about the last fun thing that I did; with all of the nervous energy of a 5-year-old child, who just ate a bag of M&Ms and is now stuck on a long road trip.

It dawned on me, that it's the creative side of my brain that is so distracting. A need for a creative outlet drives my desire to play music while working, so I can appease the ADHD behavior in my head. My analytical side can get to work, while my creative side is pleasantly occupied by singing songs. Then, when the analytics are complete and it's time to "think outside of the box" I can let the creative side run free. And like a wind nymph that has been smeared with technicolor paint, it flies around in multiple directions, randomly connecting disparate thoughts, various learning from multiple forums, and is able to come up with some really interesting ideas.

With that in mind, I want to improve my quantitative analysis skills. After taking statistics in college, I became convinced that statisticians can make any data look like it supports their conclusions. After accounting classes, I became convinced that an unscrupulous accountant could make any business seem viable. The result was that I want to learn to develop the capacity to smell and see bullshit on contact. Honing my quant skills, I think will help the bs-detector.

At Grameen, I am starting to look at the reports, generated by microfinance institutions (MFIs) on social performance management. [The chosen CD has background noise is the book "Common Stocks and Uncommon Profits... I truly am an extraordinary multi-tasker... haha!]. Ultimately, I want to uncover the ways different organizations need to slice, dice, and report on the progress their clients are making on getting out of poverty. But along with that, I want to see how some MFIs may try to use the numbers to make the progress seem better than it actually is. I have yet to figure out whether any MFIs participate in this sort of bad behavior, but my instinct tells me that anywhere there is a place to make money, there will be people who attempt to take advantage. As such, I've planted to idea on the creative side of my brain to germinate... I look forward to seeing what pops out!

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On a personal note, the last 3 days I have been immensely happy. Every song I hear on the radio feels like it was personally dedicated to me. Intermittently, as I listened to pandora in the afternoon, I had an urge to jump up and dance in the middle of the office. I've also had the desire to shop. Not because I need anything. Not because I have any $$ (I don't, so please don't ask). I think the desire comes up, because I go for long spells without buying myself anything special: no new gadgets, no latest fashion, same old clunky computer from years ago. The result is I periodically get an itch to buy. But unfortunately, like someone who was raised in the era of the depression, I have this immense desire to save, and save, and just in case those savings get lost, save a little extra. Maybe it's because I have spent time on and off working with the "poor" -- but I really don't like the idea of being homeless, and want to do all I can to avoid that. Especially, since when I turn age 65, unlike my friends, I won't be able to call up one of my kids and say, "I'm staying with you now, and in a couple of years, you can change my diapers." In any case, my latest ideas for splurges include:

• Trip to Vegas with friends for b-day celebration
• iPhone
• A big house party
• Complete remodel of first floor in condo
• Set-up a scholarship fund for someone
• New flat screen
• Travel sponsorship for a friend to visit me
• New car
• Laptop
• Spa weekend somewhere

Obviously, some of these things aren't going to happen (like a scholarship fund... I haven't even paid off MY education). But it is fun to think about. Plus, it gives that creative side something else to daydream about....

P.S. The cd common stocks may sound really more mathematical, but my creative side spent most of the cd trying to determine the age of the speaker, whether he actually believed what he was saying, and trying to picture what he looked like while reading the book. The conclusion:

• 73
• thinks the ideas are bs, but are a good way to make money
• wearing a tan suit, with patches on the elbows, and disshelved hair