Fireworks Continue

A week later, the fireworks are still going off in my head,
No longer like the grand finale of Disneyland spectacular,
Instead, they are intermittent
They spring up like the illegal fireworks in LA after the 4th of July.
They are unexpected,
One never know when they will spark,
And they always startle me.

Everyday, I struggle with maintaining my balance.
Literally suffering from vertigo, and figuratively confused.
People speak to me and I can't keep up with the conversation.
I alternate between being a silent mouse,
And practicing for a role on Yo Gabba, Gabba.

No matter what the external manifestations,
Internally, it's all doubt, fear, and self-disgust.
Sometimes my emotions get so low,
That the tears that are staining my soul,
Aren't able to escape, unable to release some the pressure boiling inside.

It's shameful to have this kind of uncertainity,
I question whether I made the right decision to go to work,
Hell, I question whether I make the right decision each morning to get out of bed.
But every moment, every minute, every hour,
I tell myself this too shall pass.
I just pray it passes sooner rather than later.