Friday: My life restarted that day

Friday: the rest of my life started on that day.

Flash back 10 years ago.
"Sure, whatever," I said to the man in the white suit.
A man, an expert, a medical professional,
Much like the one before, and the one before him.
Each suggesting the same option.

A miracle drug prescribed to ease depression,
A chemical harness to raise my seratonin levels,
A promise to make my moods normal,
With only a small risk, stopping the meds might kill you.
If they believe it will help, then how can I continue to say no.
A script written, a script taken, a script fulfilled.

10 years later.
Still performing the daily ritual of taking the medication.
Fearful that a missed dose will bring nausea and headaches.
Scared that a missed dose will cause vertigo.
Afraid that a missed dose will cost me -- me.

Reading, research, analysis.
This is no miracle drug for me.
It's a miracle profit maker.
A cure worse than the disease.
A drug designed to make those who take it sicker when they stop,
Than they were when they were compelled to start.

But enough is enough.
This is my chance to break free,
To reconnect to me,
To remove the chemical harness prescibed to make me "normal"
That has only served to make me conform.

These first few days have been awful.
Sneezing, coughing, aching,
Limbs feel like anchors,
Brain neuro sensors sparking like fireworks.
Anxiety
The world caving in.
Night terrors
Confusion and exhaustion.
A feeling that nothing will ever be ok again.
Tears flooding my pillow,
And fear on my soul.

Despite all of this,
My resolve remains.
I can fight this,
I can overcome this.
My life can be mine again.
And I will be stronger than when I began.