Pisco Sours

I flew out of LAX at 8am on Saturday morning, with the expectation of arriving in Lima, Peru a little after midnight. In PDT, that would be 10pm. That´s right. 14 hours of traveling time, 2 connections (Houston and Panama), so that I could volunteer with some kids in Peru. And maybe visit a historical site or two. I also brought a handful of books, and have even finished one by Walter Mosley already. The first night after a freak-out since the idea of sleeping on the top bunk was NOT gonna happen for me; I relaxed into Sunday breakfast.

As can be expected, the people with whom I am staying at CCS are nice folks. Naomi and Chris from the NW US, were the first couple that I met. Both studying sustainability, they are here in Peru on a ¨for college credit¨ internship. The are composting, developing recycling programs, planting flowers, helping creates bags, and many of ¨hippy-like¨ things. They are both really down to earth people, and after 10 minutes in their company, I felt quite at ease into the house.

Later that afternoon, a new person appeared, Breanna from Seattle. She had just traveled from Argentina where she had been studying Spanish for a month. We all took the walk to the mall across the street, to get a sense of the area. While there, I had a pisco sour. Damn! Why don´t we have these drinks in the US? After just one, I was already slurring a little bit. And was either ready to go out dancing at 2 in the afternoon, or take a nap.

Unfortunately, what my nap and the pisco sour didn´t save me from is the stress that I collect in my shoulders and tummy. By the time I woke up, all of the ¨life¨stuff that I had been avoiding, or simply not fully facing in the past couple years slapped me in the face. My heart physically ached, as my mind awoke to the emotional desire to feel loved, my soul tossed and turned with the desire to be embraced, and my mind wandered as I searched for answers to why I work so hard while I lack the reciprocal love of someone to share a fruitful moment with.

I lay in bed and prayed. I prayed for guidance. And my prayer was answered by remembering my New Year´s Resolution to live in the present. To stop pressuring myself and just be. There´s only 2 months left in this year. When will this resolution be finally integrated into my normal life?

I guess as soon as I stop fighting it.