Sometimes I wake up and want to cry

Some mornings when I wake up, I wanna cry. Like when...

• I woke up one morning, recalling my first kiss. 
• I woke up one morning, feeling the sunshine brush across my face. 
• I woke up one morning, remembering a fun time with friends at The Standard.
• I woke up from a dream that was of me spending time laughing and joking with all of my family in SD. 

Some evenings, while I sit alone in my house, I feel tears well up in my eyes...

• as I crack up laughing at my cat running insanely up and down the stairs.
• as I read an update from a friend, who has fallen on hard times.
• as I give thanks for all of the blessings that have come my way.
• as I get frustrated with a project I'm working on.
  

Some nights, as I prepare to go to sleep, the tears really begin to stream as...

• my mind fills with happy memories of seeing animals at the San Diego Zoo last month.
• I think about loved gained and loved lost. 
• I remember hurtful things I have done to others.
• I pray that my life is on the right path and that I will spend more time doing good than bad.

There's a part of me that wants to have a good hard cry, to let all of my feelings inside stream to the outside, like an emotional deep-cleaner. There's a part of me that is happy, that as analytical and logical as I wanna be, my humanity can still show itself through my tears. And yet, though I will openly admit that Big Girls Cry, there are so many days that I wish I didn't.

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