Is it prejudice or is it memorex?

Introduction to the Concierge: The day I moved to DC, I met a concierge from Africa who told me that he had worked at my current employer as a temp 10 years ago. After a couple days of work, he concluded that the company was racist. He went on to extol the challenges he has faced, despite having a Bachelor's degree, with getting a "good" job in DC. As I waited patiently for him to finish his story and hand me my key, he offered to help me with my bag. I declined. He took my bag up to my apartment anyway. I've seen him every few days since and he always asks me if I am the same girl who he helped with her bag.

This weekend I saw him again, and again he had the bag question. When I asked why he repeats this each time I pass, he went on a 30 minute rant. He started by explaining that he is African, he hates "faggots," and cannot believe that I would have listened to people saying he was a faggot. He showed me a picture of his ex-wife. He expressed that it is his belief that the "faggot" he works with is keeping him from getting ahead. He repeated 3 times in that 30 minutes that his girlfriend bought him the tie he was wearing, but the "faggot" said it didn't look nice. He mentioned that he likes the KKK because they are upfront with their racism. And concluded, that I should be confident that he likes women & we should be friends because he's no faggot. WTF?!? I thought he was a creep before, but was even more dumbstruck as I had no idea where this rant came from.

I stood there for 30 minutes just staring at him: confused, annoyed, & disgusted. I know I had been sick for 2 days, but did I really just witness this unknown man tell me how prejudiced he is? With this much hate in his heart, of course he believes that everyone is out to get him. I was sickened by him. I began to wonder if he truly represents people of the Ivory Coast. If so, I don't want to go there. I suppose that like the KKK, at least he is being upfront with his prejudice. But I must say that I wish this had been a memorex moment and not real life. I walked away, wide-eyed, without responding to his rant.

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After writing the above, I was mad at myself. Rather than checking that asshole immeadiately I had just stood there in disbelief. I realized that my silence could have been construed as acceptance, or worse, agreement with the vulgarities he had expressed. Had this been a Memorex moment, I would have had the chance to rewind and make it known that what he said was unacceptable, in all forms. But it wasn't Memorex. So, I promised myself that regardless of when I next saw him, I needed to speak my mind.

Unacceptable: So, when I saw him today, despite the handful of groceries, laptop, wet umbrella piled in my hands -- I stopped in front of his desk. I told him that I was appalled at what he had said to me the prior day. Regardless of his personal beliefs, I didn't believe it was acceptable for him to speak about anyone like that to me. He apologized profusely, tried to explain that he was just talking about his co-workers... etc. etc. I told him I couldn't accept that apology and told him that regardless, what he said was most uncool. And walked away.

Granted, this was not the strongest condemnation I could have made to him. I could have yelled, gave him the "I have [friends, family, co-workers] that are gay" line, but to me... it was more important to just stand up to say that I DID NOT BELIEVE he had the right to say those things. When people are racist, they can easily avoid me because they see my skin color. But with sexuality, it may not be overtly obvious. I believe women are beautiful, so as far as I'm concerned he was speaking about me. And given that I am not a fighter --> I'm not the type to be off the chain with my disgust.

Nonetheless, I feel at least somewhat better that he knows that I didn't agree with him. I just hope that in the future I can respond more forcefully to this sort of bullshit.