Measuring Success

What if we measured life success by the range of possibilities that could have occurred, rather than just what did occur?

For instance, take a student graduating from dental school. How big of a range of success will this person be likely to experience? At one end of the spectrum, s/he is cleaning the teeth of the wealthy; at the other end those of the poor (and probably insured, if profit is a consideration). Discounting any extreme hazards (e.g., injury on the job), s/he will likely generate sufficient income to live a comfortable life. Contrast the dental career paths with that of a liberal arts school graduate with a 3.5 GPA. This person has a wider range of likely career paths: a lawyer, an out of work actor, business owner, peace corps volunteer, or a host of other possibilities. The point is: if you just compare that individual dentist to an individual liberal arts graduate, the comparison misses a major point of relevancy. The dentist could have been "comfortable" or "very comfortable"; whereas, the liberal arts student could have had a minimum wage job or be extremely rich. It is through comparing what actually happened to the individual given their spectrum of possibilities that is much more interesting comparison. These random ramblings must be blamed on Genevieve Holland, for allowing me to borrow the book: Fooled By Randomness.

Since this is a blog about my random thoughts, what's the relevance of this to my life? Well, I realize that lots of my life events were partially fueled by luck. I had the bad luck of growing up in a single mom home, and then having a downgrade to live with an abusive, lunatic she married thereafter. But I had the good luck that no hands were personally laid upon me. I had the good luck of having a mom who loved me dearly, and who was willing to fight for my right to get a good education. Somewhere, in this confluence of good and bad luck, I learned that hard work and diligence are necessary, so when the luck wheel swings in my favor, I am positioned to capitalize on the opportunity. In the words of Chris, this makes me a calculated risk taker.

Nonetheless, there are instances when I have had to stick my neck out and make a hard choice. Fortunately, in more of these instances both sides of the coin were typically equally bad, or equally good. The trouble is: after the coin toss, I get left thinking, "what if?" For example:

• What if I had gone to UCLA instead of Cornell? Would I have been happier? Would the doors of opportunity thereafter have been different?
• What if I had tried to make it work with an ex? Would we both be happier today?
• What if I had stuck it out at Accenture instead of taking my chances with being "on the beach?"
• What if I never had said XYZ to ABC person?

The scenario of possibilities, of alternative paths, are never ending. So, I sometimes frustrate myself with a desire to explore what's behind door number two, and three, and four. Never fully content with the happy that I have here and now. Thus, my New Year's Resolution is to live in the present. I am promising myself to remember that

The present is the only thing that is real

The past lives only in memory

And the future only in imagination

And with that motto, I pledge to make my daily judgements based on the range of possibilities that exist within that moment, given the knowledge that I have. Granted, it will keep me in the depths of being a calculated risk taker, but at least I will have to force myself to be fully present to enjoy the choices I make.